Kittiara's Chateau

Now theres a fine lady upon a white horse

how did she turn tail, and take her life down that course

She had a life full with love and laughter

Till along came that spider which sat down beside her

Humpty dumpty don't swing on that wall

Oh Humpty Dumpty I knew you would fall

With rusted bells and fallen rings

they cant help,those horsemen of kings

And what of your garden of silverbells cockleshells and violets all in a row

starving and wilted, barren of colour now nothing at all will grow

Those 3 bags of wool didnt last very long...

now what can you do to keep yourself warm

Your old mother hupboard with nil in your cupboard

shivering and sick you best get up quick and go fetch that juicy bone

Here we go round the mullberry bush , is there no one in town with smack around?

a tissue a tissue gain you've fallen down

How to build you up again, up again up again

how to build you up again my fair lady

with needles and tracks needles and tracks

but needles and tracks bend and break and leave you broken and crying

What about that woman whved in a shoe

run to her she'll know what to do

O poormisspeep I see you've lost more than your sheep

I'm afaraid only you can find them

You lost on two for joy and have one for sorrow

time for bed lets hope for tomorrow

whos luck and blow sent it on this path.

Febuary 16

Watery eyes, rhinorrhea, inflamed pharynx, sneezing and an intermittent cough. I do believe I am suffering the wonderful effects of a normal everyday upper respiratory tract infection. It has been just on a year now that I have not suffered from the common cold. The symptoms however, all too familiar!

I remember so vividly one morning last year when I woke up with the same complaints as I have today and in my semi conscience state I thought I had a cold.... for that short moment in the realm of unconsciousness I was a free person until I woke more and realized the cruel reality of my addiction. I had almost forgotten the freedom of being normal and having "just a cold". I wondered If I would ever have that luxury in living again.   

It has taken 53 days for my body to recover enough that it can now get sick. I know to most people having a cold is a compliant and something to be avoided. But for me today as odd as it may be it signifies a freedom I thought I would never have the chance to enjoy again.

A happy sniffler

After 10 years +10 and 10 again I am still at a loss as to why it is the people I want in my life are so far away and yet the ones I could do without keep chasing me. I have finally resolved myself to the fact that love is the worst of all the human emotions. It leads you blind into the realms of delusion where you live out each day as though you have no care in the world and everything is beautiful and happiness is the stem of all your endeavors. Then slowly reality creeps in and as much as one may try to hold on to the cliff face eventually the pains of holding on seem more painful then the prospect of letting go..

Then you fall down the rock face being battered and bruised with every slip to eventuate as a mangled and tortured pathetic heap of misery. Left to gaze up at those fortunate enough to have built there castles from up where you just fell.

It is at this point one is able to see the bareness of there own reflection stripped of the flatteries which once clothed it in a shroud of fancy adornments. The cruelness of reality's picture too hard to view for long.

Love now is just a near deathly pain which aches relentlessly throughout ones very soul, the pain of which usually too insurmountable to bear causes the fallen to search desperately for yet another delusion to shroud themselves once again so when they sight there own reflection they are not crippled by the true reflection of the singularity of self

Happy Valentines day!

And here lies the passing of yet another day.  Its birth a revelry of sun light reaching out from the horizon, the expansive rays saturating everything in their path with radiant warmth and brightness. Equal in beauty was its parting, which filled the skies with a brilliant array of colour, followed by the glittering blanket of night. Such a specular work of art for one to live out and enjoy...

The in-between of perfection being in my control, shamefully bears no merit to speak of. It lies sadly with a growing pile of wasted days. Each one possessing all that would be necessary to become a personally fulfilling and a worthy contribution to society, each one instead falling into the wastelands of failed potential.

And so once again I find myself sitting in bed with my laptop,  fingers blanketing the keys and my eyes -when open - staring into the light of  the screen. Less than 10 minuites previous  I was filled with  motivation and enthusiam to write anthor blog. All set and ready to type then….  I don’t know where to begin, do I fill in the time which has elpased since my last entry? Do I skip that and just enter in ther current days events, exactly how much do I reveal? and so forth,,,,, these thoughts not only leave me sitting here in this vague realm devoid of motion and but also more often than not have me idling away my time with not even a sentence produced.  So I have decided I will just write just as I have now done so I at the very least I have some words on the screeen to account for my time.

.So many events have taken place since my last entry. Many of them  worthy  to be weaved into another textual patch in my life tapestry. But not now … night night..